Transcript:

Hi. Hey. Hello.

I’m about to go into ceremony, and I’m just recording this on the fly—no preparation. It’s been such a beautiful two days. Yesterday, we had ceremony in the evening. This morning, we did a single-cup ceremony. And now, we’re heading into the second nighttime ceremony.

And this… this is what I’m here for, my friends.

When I step into this world—when I do this work—something intuitive rises within me. I let go, and I just know how to move, how to show up for others. My body moves freely, naturally, guided by something beyond my mind. And the result is so beautiful… even just to witness in myself.

I was just telling the group during integration: when I arrived here a year ago, I had a vision—me, holding space in ceremony. I had never actually lived that vision before. But the image was so clear.

My first ayahuasca ceremony was in Thailand, sitting with the Bird Tribe. During that ceremony, I saw myself dancing, holding people, nurturing them. I felt this wise, mothering energy within me, a presence that others were drawn to. I was holding them—not just physically, but energetically, spiritually.

But the reality at that moment was very different. I was sitting with a blanket over my head, terrified. I watched others dancing, connecting, smiling, and I felt so othered, so alone. I couldn’t join them. I was stuck in fear.

That night, the medicine told me clearly:

“You’re the one holding yourself back. Connection is available to you. But you have to do the work. There’s something in your body that needs to move, something to process. This vision you had? It’s possible. But you have to get through this first.”

That moment was a clue. I knew I wanted to become the spaceholder from that vision. So, I left Thailand with nothing but that calling in my heart. I didn’t know what the next step would be—I just knew I had to follow it.

I came to this side of the world—Central and South America—where I knew people were working with plant medicine. I applied to volunteer at retreat centers. I looked for mentors. I landed here, in this jungle neighborhood.

That was a year ago. I was fresh. Shiny. New. Eager.

And then, the Bird Tribe—the same facilitators I sat with in Thailand—came here and led a retreat called Queer Birds. I sat with them again. On the second night, I was invited to be a guardian. And that night… I lived the vision I had in Thailand. I was dancing. Holding space. Connecting. People were drawn to me. It happened.

Ultimate manifestation.

Since then, I’ve been deep in this path—exploring plant medicine and holding space. And I’ve come to realize my truest gift: I have an extrasensory ability to feel what people are feeling. I can sense what’s moving through someone, and I know how to meet them in it. I know what to say, when to hold space, when to give distance. I know what people need. I can feel it.

This gift was made for spaces like these—for transformation, for healing, for alchemizing darkness into light.

And I am living proof that transformation is possible.

I am not who I used to be.

I’ve worked through coping mechanisms, faced my core wounds, opened Pandora’s box. I’ve held space for my inner children and all their big feelings. I’ve done the work. And now, I’m here, offering that space to others. It comes so naturally. It feels so right.

To sit in ceremony and feel that deep, soul-level resonance—like, this is what I’m here to do—and to feel others receiving it, trusting me, opening up… it’s the most meaningful thing I’ve ever known.

And the truth is, I’ve only held space in six or seven ceremonies so far. But each one has affirmed my intuition. I’ll move toward someone and place my hands on their ankles, and later they’ll tell me, “How did you know I had an injury there?” I don’t know—I just feel.

Each ceremony is proof:

My intuition is real.

My calling is real.

This is what I’m made for.

And now… this chapter is closing. It’s been a year. I’ve given everything I came here to give. I’ve walked people through the full journey—from consultation calls to their final integration. I’ve watched them arrive uncertain, and leave lit up with purpose and possibility.

But I know this space isn’t my forever home. I know it’s time to take a leap of faith. To trust that if this isn’t the place for me, the universe has another plan. A bigger one.

None of this is happening by accident.

I’m meant to do this work.

Now it’s my job to have the confidence to leap.

To surrender to the process.

To trust I will land exactly where I’m meant to be—where I can be of service.

And if I can be of service to you, I want to hear from you.

Main Themes

1. Healing & Transformation

   • Personal growth through plant medicine

   • Alchemizing pain into wisdom

   • Moving from fear to embodied empowerment

2. Spiritual Calling & Intuition

   • Following an inner vision

   • Trusting the intuitive path

   • Embodied spiritual leadership

3. Spaceholding & Service

   • Holding space for others’ healing

   • Energetic/empathic support

   • Facilitating safe containers for transformation

4. Manifestation & Fulfillment of Vision

   • Vision during ceremony becoming reality

   • Aligning with soul purpose

   • Stepping into the role of healer/guide

5. Courage & Surrender

   • Taking the leap of faith

   • Letting go of comfort to follow deeper alignment

   • Trusting the universe’s plan

6. Integration & Self-Realization

   • Reflecting on one year of growth

   • Recognition of inner work done

   • Emergence of authentic self

7. Community & Connection

   • Belonging and “otherness”

   • Connecting with others through shared transformation

   • Energetic attunement and relational healing

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