6 months ago, I took yet another leap of faith… and like all the many times I’ve taken a big risk and blindly believed I would land on my feet, I did exactly that!

Did things go the way I thought they would? NOPE. Did I get what I thought I wanted? Not at all. Has it been easy? HA! Did it nonetheless serve me well? HELL YEAH 🙂

Do I have regrets? Truthfully, no. I actually feel like I’m starting to ‘get it’… I keep trying to control my destiny by deciding what’s next for me. Like, “I’ve been single forever, it’s time for me to be in a relationship now,” or “I’ve done so much healing, I’m ready to go back to ‘the real world…’ only to realize that I think I know what I want/need, but then what I end up getting is way better. Not so much in terms of results, but by way of lessons. What I learned far outweighs what I thought I would gain.

I’m starting to learn that when I take these leaps of faith, I’m not jumping towards the result I envision and hope for, but instead towards a lesson related to such longing.

Lately, I don’t have any regrets when things don’t go to plan. Before, I would freak out, have panic attacks and FIGHT for things to go my way (my life, my choice!)… but now, I finally feel like I ‘get’ what it means to surrender and be in flow.

The truth is, I’m not in control and I honestly don’t know what I want or what’s right for me… but I somehow always get what’s meant for me, regardless of what I think it’s supposed to be!

I’ve been thinking and writing about this concept of ‘Letting Go’ a lot lately… here’s a post I wrote about it, and I have another one in the works I’ll post soon.

Do you trust that you can let go of outcomes and be in flow with what comes your way? Are you able to see the good in the challenges? It’s taken me a long time to get to this place… but it’s serving me so well to let go and trust the process.

I turned 40 right before I stepped into 2024… and, no word of a lie, it feels as if I walked through a portal into a whole new reality.

I’ve tried to post and write about this so many times, but it’s just TOO BIG to put to words. There’s a really great story behind all these incredible changes, and I dare say I’m bursting at the seams trying to figure out how to document and share things as they’re happening… alas, it’s all too much and the overwhelm keeps me stuck at a loss for words.

I sense I’m meant to trust in the process on this too – the #makingjgb story WILL BE TOLD, and it’ll come together when and how it’s meant to.

I’ve come to realize I don’t ever post anything here because I always want to find the perfect way to tell the story. As a film fanatic who is passionate about storytelling in its every form, I want so badly to create something well packaged, that has a great arc, with shocking reveals and clever twists! I want to keep you on the edge of your seat all while educating and inspiring!

I do believe I’m capable of this. I’m well versed in the art of storytelling, I have the ‘know how’… but for whatever reason it just hasn’t come together yet.

As I write this, I can’t help but realize the healing process has been really similar… you can logically know something, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to apply… until one day, after the 34,764th time you’ve thought about it, it just clicks. You get it, and suddenly you can apply it.

For example, the concepts of ‘surrender’ and ‘letting go of control’ I just mentioned. Totally logically made sense to me for a long time – I learned about it, discussed it, read about it, felt like I understood it, even taught about it – but I struggled to apply it… until one day it just clicked!

I trust in the process. I surrender. One day this story will get told in the way I see fit. It’ll happen when it’s meant to! Until then, I want to make an effort not to silence myself just because I can’t figure out the perfect way to package all the big reveals and twists and turns!

One of the stories I’ve been dying to tell you about… ARE YOU READY FOR THE BIG REVEAL… has to do with my autism diagnosis!

I had been logically aware of #neurodivergence for some time already (diagnosed #ADHD in 2020), but something CLICKED right before I took my leap of faith in September 2023.

And from that moment forward, everything changed. It genuinely feels like there was a before, and now, in the after, I am showing up in the world so much differently.

All this, thanks to the process of #unmasking. It turns out, I’ve spent my whole life mimicking and fawning to fit in. I made myself smaller, quieter, less intense and even went as far as to isolate and render myself almost completely unnoticeable so as to avoid labels and punishments for being #toomuch.

Over these last 6 months, I’ve done so much work around this process of unmasking and I dare say it’s the greatest thing that has ever happened to me!

I am ME and I have found that I am able to accept myself exactly as I am!! There is absolutely nothing wrong with me! I am not for everyone and I’m finally at a stage in my life where that’s OK!!

This process of unmasking has helped me to learn and love so much about myself.

Not to mention, it turns out I have incredible superpowers! I found out that I CAN DANCE and when I do, I not only feel but also transcend JOY in ways I never knew possible!

I am so excited and grateful to be in the after, where I can now proudly share what unmasking looks and feels like for me… it’s as if I’ve been reborn as who I was always meant to be in the first place!

I’ve stepped into a chapter where autism awareness is really important to me. I intend to share and teach and spread joy here. Thank you for being a part of my story / journey / healing / unmasking process ❤️


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